The Church...As Entertainment?

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WARNING: The following post includes content full of biting sarcasm. Reader discretion is strongly advised.
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Oy! I just opened some of our church mail, as it was addressed to the children’s ministry, an area over which I am charged with pastoral oversight. Inside were two glossy color pages replete with pictures of carnival inflatables, booths, and even rides. In large bold font at the top, the first page read thus:

“Benefits of Having [XYZ] as Your Church’s Entertainment Vendor.”

Really? The church needs an entertainment vendor? Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus!

I read all 23 bulleted “benefits.” NOT ONE was spiritual, or even remotely church-y. They DID include, “highest insurance limits in the Midwest.” Well, NOW we’re getting somewhere!

👏

Just for kicks (personal entertainment) I did a word search in my Bible software: “entertain.” Hmm. Results:

Dt 15:9. Here entertain is a “wicked thought in your heart… [to be] stingy toward your brother and give him nothing.” Next.

Jgs 16:25-27. Oh yeah, the Philistines called for the self-destructive Samson, whom they had captured and blinded, to come entertain them. That’s just sad. And it turned out the Philistines were NOT happy with the product.

Jer 7:31; 19:5; and 32:35. God never entertained the thought of – what? – the people building high places to burn their children in worship of Molech or Baal! Yikes!

How about Dan 6:18. Nope, more negativity. King Darius is so worried about Daniel in the lion’s den he DOESN’T want his usual entertainments.

Well, how about the NT?

Mt 9:4.Entertaining is once again, “thinking evil things in [their] hearts.”

Acts 17:7. Here, entertaining is welcoming Christians who are “turning the world upside down” into your home. Jason is mobbed for it and has to pay a bond to get out of custody. Sounds a little like a carnival…but not in a good way.

1 Tm 5:19. Here we have the potential of accepting an accusation against an elder. Nope, no carnival here either.

Last one. Heb 13:2. The prohibition against failing to show hospitality to other Christians (who might even be ANGELS!). That’s a good one, but it still doesn’t sound like a carnival.

So, a quick survey reveals the Bible is silent on how to discern the best entertainment vendor for one’s local church. Huh. Clearly, the Lord intends to guide us through his Spirit and his gifts. I guess we’ll have to wing it.

I’m sure we’ll do fine.